Daily Essential Nutrient
I took a walk into town yesterday. I usually drive but I decided to get some extra exercise because I had missed my quiet morning time. Just a few minutes into my walk, an incredible feeling of freedom came over me. Within seconds I understood that the source of that sensation was the solitude that enveloped me. I was surrounded by the sights and sounds of the busy city, yet, I was alone (not to be confused with lonely!).
I used to be afraid of being alone. I wasn't aware of this, though, until I read the book, The Journey, by Brandon Bays. The author describes in her book the tremendous anxiety she experienced when she found herself completely alone for a few days. I remember reading that section and thinking, 'Oh, I'm not like that.' And, as I was thinking that thought, my heart was racing like crazy!
That was a wake up call for me. When I thought about things I realized that I did all I could to keep busy and avoid being alone with myself and my thoughts. I faced the challenge presented by Brandon Bays and began taking time for myself. It opened a whole world for me and I found that not only was being alone a point of connection to my inner thoughts and feelings, it quickly became a point of connection to Hashem (the Creator).
Today, I can't live without my alone time. I crave solitude and I need it daily. It is definitely a daily essential nutrient. It gives me life force. It can take the form of a walk in nature, sitting alone with a cup of tea, or walking alone in the noisy city. It's not what we do during that time; it's simply where our intention lies. My intention is to touch base with 'self' - to tune in to what is making me happy, agitated, sad or angry. It's a time for taking a look at my life, for listening to what my body and my spirit have to say to me. A time to speak and a time to listen.
When you get into your car, do you automatically turn on the radio? When you find yourself with some free time, do you automatically get on the phone or the computer? Is the TV always playing in the background in your home whether you are watching it or not? These could possibly be signs of avoidance.
Don't get me wrong. I also enjoy reading a book, speaking to friends and checking my emails; but I know for a fact: I can't afford to do them at the expense of my alone time. There is a difference between escape and recreation. Sometimes there is only a fine line between the two.
These days, with Facebook, Whats-app, and the internet in general, it is way too easy to avoid alone-time. We can easily become a generation completely out of touch with our inner core...the thing that drives us, the part of us that is holy and simple and One with the Creator...
Sacred time with self - we all deserve it.
We deserve time to quiet the mind and listen to the heart. Our body and spirit deserve it. If you are already in the practice of daily solitude then you know what I'm talking about. And if you're not, and my words make you a bit uncomfortable, you may decide that it's time to step out of your comfort zone and try this.
So where to begin?
I guess the simplest way to start is to decide to begin. If you like being outdoors, build it into your day. If you prefer the privacy of your home, designate that spot, select the time and make it happen. Take measures to make sure you will not be interrupted. Turn off your phone. When I feel like secluding myself at home, I put a sign on my bedroom door requesting privacy. I make myself a cup of tea, enter my little sanctuary and close the door behind me.
Make it ten minutes or make it thirty or an hour and a half. Whatever works for you.
What next? Well, I always begin a new practice by writing a prayer. It doesn't have to be long or lofty. It simply has to be you. (A few samples of personal prayers I have written appear on the PRAYERS
page of My Simple Emes. Maybe you can get some ideas from them.) Then, you can begin your solitude time with your prayer.
Even if you can't quiet your mind initially, choose a subject upon which to focus and start talking (or writing).
Can't come up with a subject? Try gratitude (another daily essential ingredient!). 'Thank You Abba (Father in heaven) for getting me to take this time for myself...for us.'
There is always the option of sitting in silence or singing to yourself. These activities can bring peace and joy.
We recharge our cell phones and our lap tops; we take our kids for play-dates; we make time for friends, and loved ones. Well, what about you? And what about He Who gives you life 24/7?
I have found that consistency bears fruit. Seclusion brings peace and sanity to hectic days. Just set the time, show up and open your heart. I'm sure you'll find He's waiting for you.
Enjoy!
MashaFaygel