Yellow
1 I took a vacation last week... alone. It's something I try to do once a year around my birthday. I sat at the breakfast table my last day at the hotel. (I finally got down there early enough to get a table by the window!) Clouds came overhead and the entire garden changed. The leaves on the bushes became a darker green. I watched as the leaves and flower petals held onto the rain drops. My eyes fell on some bright yellow flowers. They appeared brighter than usual; they lit up the garden.... little specks of bright yellow. As I gazed at the flowers, I felt myself filling with pure happiness.
It was then I remembered (How had I forgotten?) how happy the color yellow makes me. Remember when we were kids, we would ask each other, 'What's your favorite color' ? My answer was always 'yellow, because it is a happy color.'
Maybe having spent three full days enjoying alone time surrounded by the peace and beauty of the Galilee was the precursor to the happy feeling induced by the yellow flowers. Whatever it was, I was grateful for the reminder.
2 The day after I arrived home, I got to work on a children's Chanukah story I am writing for our grandchildren. After a short session I was overtaken with a sense of joy and peace. I felt as if
my entire being was being pumped with endorphins. I believe it was! As I sat there enjoying the sensation, I realized it was the creativity involved in working on the story that brought me to experience that feeling of total calm.
3 Then we spent Shabbos (Sabbath) in Jerusalem. Finding a shul (synagogue) is not always easy for me. While it is difficult for me not to attend, it can sometimes be more difficult for me to remain until the end of services. I have very specific needs and desires regarding the service. I was spoiled by my childhood shul experience.
I found my way to the shul our son-in-law recommended. As I found a seat and opened my siddur (prayer book), I could already feel a sense of serenity and peace overtaking my entire being. It was the the manner in which the prayers were being given over; it was the pace in the tefillah (prayer); it was the echo in the shul and the smell of the wooden benches, all topped off with the American accented Hebrew of the man leading the service. I closed my eyes enjoying the sweet feeling of being home. It so much reminded me of my childhood shul experience.
There is something very comforting about the little things that awaken happiness and serenity within.
It feels like coming home. It's not a physical home. It's like coming home to self. The term 'returning to self' is something that frequently gets thrown around. It's difficult to explain in words exactly what that means. So instead, I use the three above examples in expressing what I feel returning to self means for me.
By identifying the yellow in our lives - the things that bring us peace and joy - we can better understand how to touch our true 'self'. The things that bring us inner peace and joy are terrific tools for self-knowledge and connection to something greater and deeper than any superficially induced pleasure. And coming home means much more than touching base with our true self. It means coming home to the Creator. We find ourselves in touch with the holy spark within - the Home of godliness inside.
These are tremendously powerful moments and experiences. And in my humble opinion, we all need some yellow in our lives each and every day - a space in our day where we take the time to do something in order to touch base within. I am positive that doing this brings the serenity and joy we all seek. We can create the opportunities to reveal holiness in our day and in ourselves.
What makes you happy? What makes you super calm? If you're not yet doing this, try making it a part of your daily experience ... and see what happens.
Happy to be back,
MashaFaygel
PS I took a walk in the rain today... amazing! Another speck of yellow in my life....highly recommended :)