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On the Road Again

When I fell ill last February, my life changed in many ways. One of those ways is that I needed my husband to drive me everywhere. He drove me to doctor appointments, holistic practitioners and diagnostic tests. He did all the shopping and errands. It took months for me to be able to do any of that on my own. With my health and strength slowly restored, thank G-d, it seemed the only thing I was not yet ready to take on was long distance drives. Recently, I took the plunge.

It wasn't even so much the drive itself that held me back; it was the stress induced by driving. I got my driver's license in New York City nearly forty years ago. I was told the proper way to drive is 'defensively'. I may have taken 'defensive driving' to an extreme. I am the type of person who thinks anyone beeping on the road is obviously, without a doubt, beeping at me.

When I hear a beep, I go into automatic stress-mode. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself when I realize the source of the beeping is on the other side of the divider from a car going in the opposite direction and having nothing to do with me at all!

For reasons like this, I had put off the return to highway driving. When I did get back on the road again....well, let's just say, some things never change. My mother used to call them lunatics - you know, the drivers who appear to have a death wish and don't seem to mind risking taking others along with them (G-d forbid). It's really nothing to joke about.

The true test of a 'stressful' drive for me is how hard it is to pry my fingers off the steering wheel upon arriving at my destination. I believe my grip gets tighter and tighter as the drive gets more challenging.

Yesterday's trip to Jerusalem was particularly harrowing. Upon leaving the city limits, I said the Traveler's Prayer for safe travel, put on some relaxing music and began my drive.

There was the truck driver who cut me off while I was in the left lane. I was driving 120 km/hr - roughly 75 mph. I had to slam on the breaks and the driver behind me had to swerve into the right lane to avoid crashing into me. Cars and motorcycles were weaving in and out of lanes as if they were little kids riding in go-carts at an amusement park!

Other than that, lanes came to an end with no warning and then all of a sudden two lanes turned into three. That would not be a problem except for the fact that the total width of the highway had not changed at all....they just simply fit three lanes where there once were two! At that point, there was no room for even a centimeter of error on either side.

Happy to be passed that section of the highway, things opened up to very wide lanes and there I was zipping along at 120 when I found myself in the fast lane with a car in front of me going 80 (50 mph)! I stayed behind her as long as my patience held up and finally, went against my own values and switched into the right lane in order to pass her. As I did so, (you know, you always HAVE to look at the driver who 'causes' you stress) I noticed she was messaging on her phone! What's with people?!

On top of everything else, I wasn't looking at the clock in order to avoid getting stressed out about arriving on time to my appointment (ha ha).

As I pulled into Jerusalem, I felt a great feeling of relief and gratitude for having made it in one piece. It was then, one of my favorite songs began playing - Bini Landau singing Birkat haKohanim (The Priestly Blessing. Check it out - the video and music are beautiful If this doesn't make you feel peaceful, I don't know what will!).

May HaShem bless you and safeguard you...May HaShem shine His countenance upon you and be gracious to you...May HaShem turn His countenenance to you and establish for you peace. Amen.

(Translation taken from The Breslov Siddur, translated by Rabbi Avraham Sutton, Breslov Research Institute - Jerusalem/NY 2014)