Ode to Avraham
Avraham is eight years old. I met him for the first time in my doctor's office about a month ago. Like me, Avraham is receiving high-dose Vitamin C intravenously in order to build his immune system and combat cancer. Unlike me, Avraham has also undergone chemotherapy and surgery.
I've been trying to write a blog about Avraham for weeks. I am challenged to put into words what it is about little Avraham that makes me want to write about him. As I type these words, and think of that little boy, my heart fills, a smile comes to my face and my eyes fill with tears.
I guess I should back track a little. Until I met Avraham, the standard cancer patient entering the doctor's office for IV treatments were typically, weak, sickly, and grey-skinned people - some barely able to stand (results of their chemotherapy treatments). And then Avraham came along. He is bald like many chemo patients and his skin a bit pale, but this kid has spunk! He's all over the place, scooting around with his IV pole, asking questions, and touching everything in the office.
I'll admit, I have seen Avraham on one occasion in lesser form. Still, for the most part, he is a real socialite, filled with chatter. I've seen him act like a child - whining about something like getting permission to go for a ride on his neighbor's motorcycle. And the next minute he's digging hard at his mom, challenging her with serious and quite mature questions - even exposing her emotional weaknesses more directly and precisely than a professional might.
While other kids his age with his type of cancer are weak and experience long recuperation periods following treatment and surgery, Avraham is out there running down the halls of the hospital, riding his bike at home, and surprising even the doctors who treat him.
When I turn up at the office on days when Avraham is there, he shines a huge smile for me. His very presence makes me happy. Don't think he challenges only his mom. Anyone in his path is prey for his bright mind and curious nature. He's pressured me into allowing him to witness me having the IV inserted into my arm. Then he asked me if it hurt.
When I responded that it did, he asked most sincerely, "so why didn't you cry?"
I've witnessed him challenging our doctor who exhibits a huge dose of patience with this little human ball of energy.
He roams in and out of the rooms, starting conversations with everyone. He wants to know where I'm going when I leave and why. He wants to know if I know how to drive.
I asked myself over and over, 'why do I want to write about Avraham? Is it because he makes me smile?'
WHY does Avraham make me smile?
It is because he exhibits characteristics I would like to see more of in myself. He lives in the moment, has inexhaustible curiosity, seeks adventure and can be fearless. He has what it takes to face tough stuff and come out energized. He has an unusual way of connecting with even strangers and although he can sometimes exasperate his parents, it's obvious he has what it takes to get through this chapter and move on to even bigger and better things.
Avraham is simply an irresistible, unstoppable, precocious child. I pray that with those traits, he will remain cancer-free for many, , healthy and happy years to come. He's made his mark on my life and he will surely go on to do the same for others as he grows up and turns into the adult version of his spunky little self.
There are things I see in Avraham which totally appeal to the little girl in me. When I smile at him, maybe I'm smiling at 'little me'. When I applaud him and laugh at his off the cuff remarks, it helps me forget the 'older', more worn and worried part of me.
When I showed up at the doctor's office last week and found out that Avraham would be continuing his treatments at home for now, I felt sad and let down.
As I left the office that day, I could almost hear Avraham asking "Are you going home now?" I felt a tinge of sadness. Who would be there to remind me that life is an adventure? Who would remind me to take things one day at a time? Who would be there to wake up the child within me? The answer came to me as I reached my car: 'YOU, MashaFaygel. YOU will do that for yourself!' Avraham is simply a reminder of the strengths that come from within.'
Avraham inspires me. I wanted to write about him because I want him to inspire you too. I imagine each of us has the fearful child hidden within. Before that fear set in, there was an innocent, wise and playful you. I am blessed to know Avraham and even more blessed that he awakens in me things long buried and even forgotten. He also awakens in me hope and light.
I believe Avraham's indescribable energy is so strong that even by writing about him and asking you to ponder these things, he can awaken
these little 'goodies' in you and maybe give you strength and hope as you face your own life's challenges.
Wishing us all light, hope, healing and happiness,
May we stay forever young,
MashaFaygel